Isaiah 42:18a Hear, you deaf…
Isaiah 42:19 Who is blind but my servant; or as deaf as my messenger whom I send?
Isaiah 42:20b …his ears are open, but he does not hear.
What does it mean to listen? Does it mean you have loads of free time on your hands so you’re available to have conversations, and on top of that, you don’t mind hearing juicy stories about people’s trials and tribulations? Is it just telling people you’re available to be a sounding board? Is that enough to set up shop as a Christian counselor and announce to everyone, often, to come to you for baring of soul and for some good advice?
I don’t think so because I think listening is communicating and I think it’s hard. You have to set aside your own fears, problems, anxieties, and whatever else to focus on the other person. It’s difficult, usually, to step outside the universe that revolves around you and your thoughts to enter someone else’s realm, but if you’re going to be a listener, that’s what you need to do. Otherwise, you’re just a hearer with open ears, but without understanding.
I think you have to probe. You have to ask about feelings, and you have to press for more when those questions are dodged. You have to explicitly ask what events and attitudes mean in the life of this person, and you have to keep asking in order for that to become clear to them.
You have to risk their ire when it’s time to tell them they are stuck in a rut, are going the wrong way, or are believing untrue things. (I suck at that. I don’t want anyone to be mad at me. Ever.)
It’s work to focus on the message the person is relating. I think you have to pay attention to what is not being said – what is between the lines – as much as the words that are being spoken. If your mission is to truly be helpful, then you have to listen for what is underneath the surface, not just take in information as if it is the evening news – especially if you consider you are listening in order to minister to the body of Christ. If that’s the case, you then need to offer the Gospel (yes, the Gospel, even to believing brothers and sisters) the good news that we, along with all creation, have been redeemed and are being made new. How can you share that without first hearing what is on their heart?
If you believe you’ve been gifted as a listener and called to a ministry of counseling, work at it. Learn how to listen, analyze, and evaluate (yep, judge.) Do it well. And then give the praise to God.